Me Again...

Having sat here reading the last post I made, somewhere in the region of a year ago, the temptation is to feel a little ashamed of myself. I'd got my determination going, quit the smokes, started a running programme and was losing weight hand over fist. Then, as occasionally happens, the wheels fell off. Within a very short space of time I was back on the smokes and the couch. The weight piled on again and here we are, one year later, at 265lbs.

On a more positive note, I've been off the smokes for 11 weeks and I now feel ready to tackle this again. I've started some gentle exercise with a view to getting back on C25K within 2 weeks. I don't feel ashamed, I feel determined and a little bit better educated than last time.

To those wonderful people who contacted me with messages of support and concern after the posts stopped, I thank you sincerely. I can only apologise for the prolonged silence, but those who know the shame that is associated with failure will understand, I hope. Take comfort in the fact that it is those messages which made me resolve to get back on track. I'll be making sure I don't let you down again.

The No-Need for Speed

Hey Folks,

I hope you're all still out there and running. I am, I'm just not posting quite so regularly at the moment - lousy work getting in the way.

Anyhow, I've been provoked into action by a few posts on forums that I've seen lately which are from beginner runners who are preoccupied with speed. Now, I know it may sound a bit rich coming from me, but as a beginner runner the word "speed" has no place in your vocabulary - at least not in the sense of going fast. There are two good reasons for this:

1. Until your body has become accustomed to running, speed is not an adequate or even desirable measure of performance. To illustrate further - many beginner runners are either unfit, previously sedentary  or overweight - and often a combination of all three plus some more like, current or former smokers, asthmatics etc.  For this type of beginner runner  the only way to survive on a running programme is to work for time and perceived exertion.  Even beginner runners who are fit need to take care when they start running.  Aerobic endurance is the key to distance running, and it won't develop if you run so fast that your heart rate goes into the stratosphere. All you'll develop is the ability to run through the unpleasant effects of lactic acid build-up, which is a good thing, because by training anaerobically all the time, you'll have a lot of lactic acid build-up to cope with.
2. Speed develops best with the increases in fitness that a new runner experiences. It happens incrementally and only ever in line with what your body can cope with. As an example - I have been known to go a little quickly myself - so I have recently made a concerted effort to keep myself in check. On yesterday's run, I set off at a nice easy pace, made sure that my breathing was even and that I was always in control of my pace. When I got home I discovered that I had taken 30 seconds off my best time for 3 miles. I was utterly shocked, because it felt as if I'd been just coasting along, but obviously my fitness has improved and my natural, easy pace has got faster without me even trying.

Please folks, do me a favour? If you're going to do C25K, then please do C25K. Follow the instructions, run to the specified times, always warm-up and cool-down, ALWAYS stretch at the end of a run and don't go too fast. You can't be a runner if you can't run. C25K was designed specifically to help you become a runner whilst minimising the risk of injury. So let it help you to achieve something you'll always be proud of.

Easy does it.

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A Cautionary Tale

Time 6.30am - Weather Fine and Bright 9.8 degrees C - Wind E 2mph

Distance 5K - Time 31:44



There's an old saying for those who struggle with their finances, which goes a little something like this: 'Let your means dictate your lifestyle and not your lifestyle dictate your means'; in plain English, don't spend more than you can afford.

What has this all got to do with running? I hear you ask. Well, quite a bit actually. I have, for a long time now, let my pace dictate my energy levels. I set off like a mad thing and , about half-way round, realise that I can't keep it up and get more and more ragged until I finish. The sensible option, of course, is to work the other way round. Set off slowly, build up to a pace that feels comfortable, and sustain that the whole way round. The benefits of this method are fairly obvious: you're less likely to tire (or give up completely) before the end, your heart-rate should stay within acceptable parameters, and you're far less likely to look like a gasping sweaty mess as you run along your favourite route.

At the moment I'm living beyond my means. I start too fast, use up all my CV endurance early and have to use my anaerobic system far too much. I guess it's the equivalent of having an overdraft. I guess it must be a machismo thing; I need to feel that I'm going fast enough to qualify as being a proper runner. This morning's run was done at an average of 10.13 m/m, which is great, but my average heart-rate was 170 - a staggering 88% of max. It's a situation I have to resolve.

So, be warned, run slow and run long. Let your level of fitness determine your speed.

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Getting Over my Loss

Time - 5.10am, Weather - Damp (shocker!) 10 degrees C, Wind - E 2mph
Distance - 3 miles, Pace - 11m/m

If you'd have told me, nine weeks ago, that I would miss C25K I would've looked sideways at you with a somewhat rye grin. I guess the truth of the matter is, and my wife agrees with me here, is that we never expected me to finish C25K. My wife - God bless her - is very used to my fadishness: for some years now she has smiled sweetly at me when I've started raving about my latest obsession, humoured me for the duration of it, and tried to feign surprise when I threw whatever it was out of the window to pursue something else that had piqued my curiosity. She had similar expectations of my running career. It was only a few nights ago that she admitted as much to me. I confess that, at first, I felt a little hurt, but when I saw it from her perspective I really couldn't blame her. I'm not particularly reliable, I have issues with discipline and I always thought that commitment was a movie about an Irish soul band.

So to reach the end of C25K left me in a very unfamiliar place. I'd actually finished something; what does one do when one finishes something? There were two obvious answers: do nothing or do something else. I decided on the latter, but then it came to actually doing it and I felt awkward, uncomfortable, alone. The best thing about C25K for me was the community, the shared pains and triumphs, the forums, the blogs, the being a part of something. I still contribute to forums, and write this blog and read others, but I'm different now. I'm a veteran. I take a great deal of pride in that, but I miss being green. There's a lot of security in following a plan, doing as you're told; it's not so easy when you have to think up the orders for yourself.

Thankfully my orders at the moment are not too complex. I'm just going to do 3 miles a day, 3 days a week until my 5k fun-run on October 4th. After that I'll have another plan. In the mean time, however, the motivation and discipline are my responsibility.

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Beyond the Finish Line?

C25K Week 9 Day 3 - Time 5.30am - Weather Bright and cool 8.5 degrees C - Wind SW 1mph

C25K COMPLETED

Following on from Friday's post to a certain extent, I guess I'm still reflecting on the true nature of the finish line; does it ever really exist? Do we ever really cross it? Should we ever want to cross it?

Some things that I have to say today:

• I am incredibly proud of my achievement. I set myself a goal and worked hard for its attainment. I have reaped the rewards of my effort and commitment. Nobody can ever take this feeling away from me.
• I have taken a positive step towards increasing the quality and quantity of my life; I have made an investment in my, and my family's, future.
• I have found a passion which I plan to pursue.
• I have many people to thank for their support during this challenge. That includes you, dear reader. Just the knowledge that you would be checking in made me get out of the door on the (thankfully rare) occasions when I didn't want to run.

I genuinely dispute the whole concept of the finish line. I think there are check points where we can briefly stop to measure our progress and reevaluate our goals. But to say that there is a finish line implies that we have to stop, to say that we've had enough and that we don't want to go any further. To regard C25K as an end in itself is not enough for me; it is just the beginning. It is a check point where I come up for air, to contemplate what the future holds. I think that the photograph is interesting. The finish line is on the horizon, and I think that the implication is that that is where it will remain; always just out of reach and inspiring us to go ever onwards.

So, what does the future hold for my running. I have entered a 5k fun-run early in October, so my aim at the moment is to continue at 3x30 minute runs per week to maintain a good level of fitness. After that I will be following Bob Glover's intermediate runner training plans which should get me up to a base level of 20 miles per week. After that, I guess I'll reevaluate again. But I'm very sure that I want to keep running.

I will keep this blog going, with the same intention that I always had, of reflecting on my experiences. If any of this is read by others - and even found remotely inspirational - then that's fantastic.

Thank you for sharing this small part of my journey with me. I really hope that you can stop by, from time to time, just to see where I'm up to.

Keep running friends...

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The Finish Line

C25K Week 9 Day 2 - Time 5.20am - Weather Fine 11.5 degrees C - Wind SSW 5mph

I guess I'm getting to the stage now where the runs don't seem to be quite as momentous as they once were. I'll have to give some context here: in the early weeks of C25K progress is astonishingly fast. In fact, only in the last day or two several members of the c25k.com forum have reached such a level, and I remember only too well what it was like when I was at that stage. It's very easy to get giddy on the euphoria of achieving something that you thought was beyond you, and doing it in a period of time that is so short that it's almost unfathomable.

As you near the end of C25K I think you get a little more circumspect about your achievements. It's not that they're trivial; they're just a little more gradual. I know that I can run for 30 minutes - I'm not going to say that I can do it with ease or comfort - but I get round very well. As I sit here and think about how I want to take my running forward, I know that - whatever plan I choose - it will be based on gradual progress through incremental stages. In short, there isn't too much to get giddy about.

Thinking about C25K in these terms makes it easier to understand why so many people complete the programme and then stop. That may seem inexplicable to someone who has just dragged themselves through the dreaded Week 5 Day 3, but I can understand it. I think so many of us like our adrenaline fix so much that we see our goals as things to be done, checked off and set aside so that we can go and chase another high. We stumble from one experience to the next, vainly searching for something to take our minds off whatever it is that haunts us the most.

So, I've been trying to get to the bottom of these thoughts, and to think again about why I decided to take up running. I came up with a list:

1. I am not getting old. Old people can't run so, if I run, I'm not old. (I know old people can run; I didn't say this list made any sense)
2. I don't want to die. If I have to die then I at least want to make it past 70 (preferably longer).
3. I want to live to see my children's children.
4. I don't want to be in pain.
5. I want to be happy and healthy.
6. I want to experience the joy of knowing that I can do anything that I set my mind to.
7. I don't want to have to treat my body as a limiting factor in any of the decisions I make.

I think that's quite a shallow list. It makes me seem like all I care about is me. But then I have to care about me. It was not caring about me that wound me up in this flabby unfit mess in the first place. I deserve to be cared about and running is an expression of my self-worth. In the final assessment I don't run so that I can say that I can run. I run because it gives me health and strength, peace of mind and a sense of pride in myself that I haven't felt in many years, perhaps ever. I can - and will - set myself goals and targets to keep the passion in my running, but one thing that I've realised is that it will never stop. There is no finish line - just a transition from one goal to the next.

I've loved the journey so far and, by Sunday (God willing) I'll be a C25K graduate. But I'm really looking forward to what comes next.

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One Down, Two To Go...

C25K Week 9 Day 1 - Time 5.20am - Weather Drizzly 12.2 degrees C - Wind WSW 15mph.

So - I love saying this - I'm a 30 minute runner !!!!!

When I fist started on C25K I had three objectives:

1. To run for 30 minutes non-stop.
2. To complete C25K
3. To run 3 miles in 30 minutes.

I've now achieved one and am very close to two and three. And it feels great, I have to say. It feels very new, and different and empowering to be the guy who set himself a goal and achieved it. It's taken some time, a little pain and more than a little willpower and commitment, but I saw something through. I know I haven't finished C25K yet - and I will - but it feels like anything is possible.

So - to any of you reading this who are mid C25K and struggling, or thinking about doing C25K - take heart, dear friends, it can be done.

Keep running!

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