The Finish Line

C25K Week 9 Day 2 - Time 5.20am - Weather Fine 11.5 degrees C - Wind SSW 5mph

I guess I'm getting to the stage now where the runs don't seem to be quite as momentous as they once were. I'll have to give some context here: in the early weeks of C25K progress is astonishingly fast. In fact, only in the last day or two several members of the c25k.com forum have reached such a level, and I remember only too well what it was like when I was at that stage. It's very easy to get giddy on the euphoria of achieving something that you thought was beyond you, and doing it in a period of time that is so short that it's almost unfathomable.

As you near the end of C25K I think you get a little more circumspect about your achievements. It's not that they're trivial; they're just a little more gradual. I know that I can run for 30 minutes - I'm not going to say that I can do it with ease or comfort - but I get round very well. As I sit here and think about how I want to take my running forward, I know that - whatever plan I choose - it will be based on gradual progress through incremental stages. In short, there isn't too much to get giddy about.

Thinking about C25K in these terms makes it easier to understand why so many people complete the programme and then stop. That may seem inexplicable to someone who has just dragged themselves through the dreaded Week 5 Day 3, but I can understand it. I think so many of us like our adrenaline fix so much that we see our goals as things to be done, checked off and set aside so that we can go and chase another high. We stumble from one experience to the next, vainly searching for something to take our minds off whatever it is that haunts us the most.

So, I've been trying to get to the bottom of these thoughts, and to think again about why I decided to take up running. I came up with a list:

1. I am not getting old. Old people can't run so, if I run, I'm not old. (I know old people can run; I didn't say this list made any sense)
2. I don't want to die. If I have to die then I at least want to make it past 70 (preferably longer).
3. I want to live to see my children's children.
4. I don't want to be in pain.
5. I want to be happy and healthy.
6. I want to experience the joy of knowing that I can do anything that I set my mind to.
7. I don't want to have to treat my body as a limiting factor in any of the decisions I make.

I think that's quite a shallow list. It makes me seem like all I care about is me. But then I have to care about me. It was not caring about me that wound me up in this flabby unfit mess in the first place. I deserve to be cared about and running is an expression of my self-worth. In the final assessment I don't run so that I can say that I can run. I run because it gives me health and strength, peace of mind and a sense of pride in myself that I haven't felt in many years, perhaps ever. I can - and will - set myself goals and targets to keep the passion in my running, but one thing that I've realised is that it will never stop. There is no finish line - just a transition from one goal to the next.

I've loved the journey so far and, by Sunday (God willing) I'll be a C25K graduate. But I'm really looking forward to what comes next.

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